Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself

According to numerology, we all live our lives in 9-year cycles. Meaning, if you look back nine years from this moment, you’ll find that you’re experiencing similar events as you did back then. Nine summers ago was my first time in New York City, working as an intern on Wall Street. The digits 1-9 symbolize the stages an idea must pass before it becomes a reality. All manifestation is a result of this. This summer marked my return to New York. For the first time in 9 years, I’m back.  When I left, I had no clue what was and ahead of me. The highs and lows that come with life and the journey of finding yourself – in a career, a purpose, or some goal in building a life you envision.

Part I

I’ve had a complicated relationship with Corporate America. On one hand, I adore it. It’s an environment I naturally thrive in. In some sort, I’m living the life I’ve always envisioned for myself since I was a pre-teen (thank you Vivica Fox in Two Can Play That Game). On the other hand, it’s been a natural anxiety inducing environment for me since I left New York in 2013. My summer on Wall Street was a dream come true, drenched with the realities and understandings of realizing a dream and recognizing that it’s not as sweet as you imagined.

My internship had all the elements of my dream career: I was working in finance, at the most coveted investment bank in the world, in New York City. What more could a girl want? I left New York with a deep love for the city and appreciation for my experience working at Goldman Sachs. I couldn’t shake, however, the disappointment in not finding passion in the work I completed over the summer and was setting myself up for once I graduated in the fall. At the time, I thought I needed to find a deep passion in the career I chose due to the question all children are asked in childhood. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I felt that I picked something I liked, but it didn’t feel like a calling or anything I cared deeply about. Is this right?

This seed of disappointment grew slowly overtime. Once I graduated, I began working at Barclays Investment Bank in Houston, doing similar work to my internship in New York. Shortly after starting, I was faced with the monotony of Middle Office accounting work and 2 hours of Houston traffic on my daily commute downtown and back home. It was then that the original seed of disappoint slowly began to water. Often on my way home from work I pondered this question deeply: “Is this it?”

Part II

A few months into my post-grad career I met a guy at a happy hour event who was working as a consultant for Accenture. I’d heard of management consulting but lacked true insight to the career field. He spoke of his weekly travels back and forth between Houston and Chicago for a project he was working on. “How long have you been on this project?” I asked. He rolled his eyes indicating how over-it he was and replied, “Two years.” Two years?! This was music to my ears. You mean to tell me this guy gets to travel to Chicago every week on the company’s dime? Free travel and a great salary to dope cities? Sign me up! To my benefit, a couple months later Barclay’s announced they were shutting down the Houston office. This opened the door for me to transition and truly pursue a career in consulting. Just a couple of weeks after that announcement an opportunity came forward. I interviewed for a recent grad program for ETRM (Energy Trading and Risk Management) consulting catered toward investment banks and energy companies. FinTech consulting? Never heard of it but sounds good to me! I was hired on the spot and started work the following week.

Consulting turned out to be a fix to my career despondency. I loved consulting instantly because the nature of the work required constant learning, problem solving, teamwork, and most of all, was non-monotonous. In consulting your work is project based, and it changes from client to client. This placed me in an ongoing environment of learning and kept my busy mind at ease. Because the work was ever changing, I didn’t feel the seeds of depression that I developed from doing repetitive work.  I had the opportunity to work independently and learn coding languages while being an active contributor on large project teams full of fun and interesting personalities.

From the age of 19 to present, I’ve started 6 businesses. H&H Aquatics (lifeguard company, 2011), TheLink/Accrosstown (Event/Social app for Christians, 2014-2016), Hallcraft Surfaceprep (power washing business with dad, 2017), Hallcraft Medical Delivery Services (pharmaceuticals delivery business with dad, 2018), Proper Lemonade (beverage company with best friend, 2018), and Hall Vending Co. (2020). See a pattern here? Turns out that question I’d been pondering was largely due to an entrepreneurial bug I couldn’t shake. I’ve always relished the idea of being your own boss and having no cap on the amount of income you can make. I’ve always desired wealth and the benefits that come with growing your money, crafting your own financial destiny, and having the freedom to do as you please without answering to a corporation.

In addition to this, I grew up with an extreme distrust of Corporate America due to observing my dad endure several layoffs, despite being a hard worker and great contributor to his teams. Nothing about Corporate America ever felt secure to me, so I never dreamed of climbing the ladder of Analyst, Senior Analyst, Manager, Director, or VP. This was not my dream. In fact, it was the furthest from where I wanted to be. In my mind, if I found myself on the brink of becoming Director, VP, or Senior Manager, that was a sign that I was in Corporate America too long. My goal was to work in Corporate America until one of these businesses allowed me to quit. Once that day came it was deuces, and I would never look back.

Or so I thought.

In 2017 I transitioned from Consulting to Retail Energy. Although I loved consulting and had recently been placed on a project in Rome, Italy, I was skipped over for a promotion I was promised, and a salary increase I deserved. This caused me to change roles and begin working as a Pricing Strategy Analyst for a retail energy company (think: your electricity provider). This role was challenging but rewarding in the fact that I got to work for a strong, powerhouse black woman that inspired me daily. After 6 months in the role the anxiety around getting stuck in Corporate America began to build. At that time, I was 26 years old, officially in the second half of my twenties. Some women get anxiety over getting married and having a baby by 30. I had anxiety around still working in Corporate America. What was the rush? I’m not entirely sure. But mostly, I felt that if I continued to work and advance in the corporate world, I would have less and less time to devote to my creative entrepreneurial endeavors. Therefore, they would never take off and I would be sentenced to a life in the corporate rat race.

Something had to give.

In 2018 my dad and I were introduced to the world pharmaceutical deliveries. My uncle had a friend with one of these companies that delivered prescription drugs to nursing homes that brought in tens of thousands of dollars in profit a month. It was also around this time that I was working as a minister on staff at a church, leading a Young Adult ministry. After hearing about this lucrative business opportunity, I began to fantasize about a life void of the corporate world where I worked from home, could devote more time to ministry and start seriously building wealth with the insane profit margins this business afforded. After researching this business for months and taking the necessary steps to get the business set up legally, we officially launched in the summer of 2018. By that time, I already had my mind made up, I was quitting.

Part III

I turned in my letter of resignation in August 2018 and officially embarked on my entrepreneurial journey. Looking back, I didn’t have much of a plan for how I would make it outside of the business working out in our favor. I had savings, a good credit score, a small business loan and ambition. I only told a handful of friends about my decision and withheld this life-changing information from my parents, who didn’t’ raise me to quit good jobs without a plan or fallback resource. I felt strongly this was something I needed to do and was determined to not allow that to be soiled by people who could disagree and cloud my judgement.

This was it! I was finally living the life I romanticized in my head throughout my 20’s. Laced with a new slew of free time and autonomy to carve my own path, I decided I’d split my time four ways: working the pharm business, starting a beverage startup for a drink I thought was genius, working for the church in ministry, and finally starting a blog I’d been sitting on for a while(hint hint – this blog 😊).

Sidebar: Who starts a Corporate America centered blog after quitting Corporate America? 🙃

After a few months the bottom fell out of my position within the church (to my benefit), and the pharmaceuticals business was showing little to no promise. Although I was devoting 8-10 hours a day working it, for reasons beyond our control our company was not getting selected for the lucrative contracts this business opportunity originally advertised. On my birthday that year, I officially launched Dresses and Blazers. Pressured with the need for income to cover my living expenses (mortgage, most importantly), I decided to immediately monetize it by selling a course on getting hired and succeeding in Corporate America. I never desired to monetize the blog in this way but this is what happens when you have to squeeze your creative endeavors for income because your life is falling apart. Around the same time is when I launched the beverage company with my best friend. We had a strong start, immediately becoming a part of the beverage startup community and attracting the attention of investors. This was good, because I needed something to pop, fast. Although I was only 6 months into my entrepreneur journey, I had almost completely run through my reserve funds just to keep my life afloat. It also didn’t help that I was still living life like a corporate baddie without the corporate baddie paycheck.

In the year to follow this downward trend continued in all parts of my life. My difficult life circumstances began to put pressure on my close friendships and the new disappointment I felt about my life slowly manifested itself in toxic behavior patterns. By summer 2019 I completely deactivated my Dresses and Blazers account. It was too expensive for me to keep up with the photoshoots and the course I made to monetize the blog wasn’t selling, despite my efforts. Things with the beverage company were progressing but was also stalled due to the lack of funding needed to move forward. I began receiving letters of intent to foreclose my home from my mortgage company (7 total) and every month became an anxiety, prayer filled sprint to ensure I made a mortgage payment to prevent foreclosure. Things were bad. But a meeting with a set of investors with a unique funding opportunity sparked a new sense of optimism and gave me the fuel I needed to endure. I’ll save the story but here’s the main point: it was a scam.

By the end of 2019 I was the lowest I’d ever been in life. The events of the year put me through the ringer emotionally and my method of coping with those events isolated me and (temporarily) ended friendships with my three closest friends. I ended the year in financial ruin, thousands of dollars in consumer debt, 3 maxed out credit cards, and several months of payments past due on my mortgage. Only by the generosity of close friends and the blessing of God did I manage to keep my home. The great Nipsey Hussle said “none of us know who we are until we fail”. 2019 put me face to face with my flaws, insecurities, and past trauma’s that led to the shitshow that was my current reality.

At the start of 2020 I had a recruiter reach out to me on LinkedIn with a consulting opportunity. Looking back, it feels like a personal invitation from the Universe back into a field that I genuinely loved. I interviewed for the role and was hired. March 2020, one week before the world shutdown (NBA season canceled per global pandemic), I returned to Corporate America.

Part IV

Immediately upon returning to work I fell in love with consulting again. I was working from home doing the work I loved and was able to support myself again and stop the financial bleeding.

Although I was happy to be back working in consulting and genuinely enjoyed my days, I still had an engrained mindset of only working in corporate until I could recover from the past year and put myself in position to pick back up on the businesses that had stalled. I noticed a business that showed promising results for several people on YouTube and Twitter – Vending. And once again, I had a new object of affection to work toward that would allow me to quit. Even after all I’d experienced, my perspective hadn’t changed much.

After about a year of back working I had dinner with a girlfriend who’d just gotten hired for a Silicon Valley based tech company. Her role was fully remote, so she could continue to work home in Houston, although the company had no offices here. She raved about the positive work culture and amazing benefits which included a substantial increase in salary. Toward the end of dinner, she mentioned casually “If you find anything you’re interested in on our website, let me know and I’ll put you in touch with my recruiter. If they hired my ass, they’ll definitely hire you!”, the John Hopkins graduate joked. But I got her point. My work experience had more than qualified me to work in a role with a salary that I’d only deemed appropriate for managers. She shared her journey of recognizing her worth and learning to advocate for herself, later convincing me that I should be getting top dollar in my field. At this point in my career, I was an expert. And my resume reflected it.

It was then that my perspective began to shift. If my goal as an entrepreneur is to have multiple streams of income, why would I cut out the biggest one? At this point in my career, I had developed a very specialized knowledge of Energy Trading and Midstream Oil & Gas Accounting software (a mouthful, I know). I finally realized, by rejecting Corporate America I was rejecting my value. Prior to this, I had an either/or mindset. Corporate OR Entrepreneurship. My youthful mind missed the important link connecting the two – that corporate can fund entrepreneurship. Successful businesses grow slowly and steadily over time. I was always trying to force results out of the businesses I started because I was not keen to this fact. If I’m working in a role that affords me the lifestyle I want to live, provides the income I need to invest in creative endeavors, AND was something I genuinely enjoyed, why did I need to quit again?

That summer I began interviewing with a renewed mindset and perspective toward Corporate America. Quit? Why would I do that? I was no longer running away from Corporate; this time I was running towards it. (Come here Corporate, give me a hug!) I went through several rounds of interviews with a few different companies equipped with a true understanding of my worth and what that should translate to in salary. After a couple of months, I settled on a boutique management consulting firm that works projects in Energy Trading and Oil & Gas Accounting. It sounds like a match made in heaven because it was. I joined my current company in August 2021 and experienced instant success from day one. I believe this shift in mindset directly translated to an elevated work product.

I was killing it.

In March of this year, I had a meeting with a principal at the firm where we both raved about the success of the past 8 months and what we could accomplish going forward. Since this company is based on the East Coast (Philly), they lacked executive representation in the area where Energy Trading and Oil & Gas accounting mattered the most: Houston, Texas. We discussed the existing opportunity in the Houston market and how my industry connections could translate to more viable work for the company. Then, he cut to the chase. “Here’s what I’m thinking: Director. Of Energy. You will be the Director of our Energy Division and lead all of our Houston based projects. We already have a few clients in the area but we’re ready to expand. What do you think?”

I thought, “Sign me up.”

And this is the story all about how the girl who didn’t want to be a Director at 30, became a Director at 30 because she finally accepted her value and began viewing Corporate America for that it truly was, a gift. Working a traditional career is a great resource to help fuel and financially support your dreams. You don’t have to love it for the work specifically (although its great if you do), you can love it for what it has the capacity to do for you. I love my job and I am eager to show up everyday and be present because it affords me a lifestyle of happiness and ease while working alongside smart individuals that challenge my critical thinking skills necessary for a life of entrepreneurship. It enables me to pursue my dreams in the slow and steady fashion needed to build something worthwhile and longstanding.

According to numerology, we live our lives in 9-year cycles. I now realize that past 9 years of my life was a slow manifestation of destiny, leading me back to the place it all began. In May, I began traveling to New York every month for a project I’m working in my role as Director. I can see it clearly, this is my full circle moment. First time back since I left. This time, I returned as myself.

If you’ve continued reading up until this point, thank you. I hope my story encourages you to own your career journey and helps you see the value in working for someone else. If nobody else will say it, I will: This 9-5 life ain’t so bad after all.

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